The Bedroom Secrets of the Master Chefs – Irvine Welsh

Welsh is underrated. This high-concept novel is a tribute to both Dorian Gray and Jekyll and Hyde and demonstrates Welsh’s considerable storytelling skills. It’s a satisfying yarn containing mysteries, a quest, evil, executions, retribution, personal growth, magic, sex, drinking and drugs (but mainly drinking). Welsh excels at dialogue, of which there is plenty. A fabulous [...]

Pulp – Charles Bukowski

My first Bukowski, and a real hoot. Captures the tone of pulp detective novels perfectly. Heroic drinking and flyblown bars feature heavily. Strangely reminiscent of Pynchon’s “The Crying of Lot 49″

Junk Mail – Will Self

Will, mate, get yourself a dictionary, why don’t you? Your use of poncy words means that your entire body is placed well above the parapet, and as a Jew, you should really know what a “shibboleth” is: especially since you use it in every bloody essay. I love the way you write, and I love [...]

Keep the Aspidistra Flying – George Orwell

Orwell is one of my favourite writers. However, as he himself acknowledged, this really isn’t a very good book. On the plus side, his powers of observation and description are as acute as ever (little things, like an advertising poster with a tattered corner, are rendered in pinsharp detail), but characterisation, never an Orwell strong [...]

The Battersea Park Road to Enlightenment – Isabel Losada

Oh dear. I suppose I’m not the intended readership for this book. I really wanted to stick a tube up the arse of every character appearing in it. As it happens, it looks as that happens on a fairly regular basis to all of them anyway. A cold porridge of a book. Lumpy and unappealing.

Time’s Arrow – Martin Amis

A stupendous book. I loved London Fields, and who could forget the subtle plot development of Invasion of the Space Invaders? The reverse-chronology idea is stunningly effective and enables Amis to peel away the onion of emotions generated by the Holocaust in a surpisingly sensitive way. Probably now my favourite Amis.

The Pigeon – Patrick Suesskind

The street diarrhoea scene will linger, I suspect, forever.

The Collector – John Fowles

Another psychological treat from Fowles. Less pretentious and adolescent than The Magus, The Collector cleverly examines the same fact base from the viewpoint of the kidnapper, and kidnappee. Fowles has the ability to generate the state of mind you are in when you wake from a half-remembered nightmare, where the feeling of disquiet still lingers, [...]